Archive for the ‘Chuckle !’ Category

Catch 22 Situation here !….22 years ago I lost my Independence in Free India…I got Married !

Thursday, September 2nd, 2010

It’s a Catch 22 Situation today!

….22 years ago in Free India I lost my Independence !…I got married

….and Catch 22!?…well I can and I can’t !…I Love and I don’t….I…..

….and thanks to all who have wished “Happy Anniversary”…but just reflect !…’Anniversary’ actually means and breaks up into  ’Any-Ver-Sorry’!…’Ver’ is ‘Husband’ in Gujju Language

…..happily it’s been a huge multibagger already with great multibagger potential ahead too !

Cheers !

Son blackjacks to 21 today……and auspiciously Glorious Sunshine salutes him in Mumbai after three really Wet days

Wednesday, September 1st, 2010

Cheers Son !…on your turning 21 in 2 0 1 0  

Cut out the 0’s and live the Positives as auspiciously Glorious Sunshine salutes you after Mumbai has experienced three continous Wet days….It’s got to be a promising sign !…..the Sun’s Rays are God’s Blessings being showered down on you

And you are my sure shot Investing Theme with record Multibagger Potential !….measurable  not just by Wealth of Money……

Remember that the Purpose of Life is to Live a Life of Purpose….and Live Fearlessly…all the Power to Achieve is within you…..Playing out Life and Blackjack 21 can be very entertaining and addicting…but Blackjack is Pure Gambling while Life should not be so,although you must roll the dice to get a  six and sail your ship on the Ocean rather than be sheltered always in the harbour ! 

Love you Lots….you are my vitamin..am always there for you….but if you ever message me ” Can’t afford a Girlfriend…No Mon,No Fun,Your Son !”….you know my reply ” Too Bad,How Sad,Your Dad !”

Cheers Son !….you can now get legally married without my consent !

 

Life is Lively ! ….. Ghost in the House ! ?… and we had just cleared Paraskavedekatriaphobia ! ?

Saturday, August 14th, 2010

Life is certainly Lively !

Do you believe in Ghosts !?…. You would if you are frantically woken up at 3.30 am in the morning by your Wife frantically whispering that our Entrance Door was ajar and kept gently banging !

This happened to me a few hours ago….. and this is how it went….. Red denotes Fear and Blue stands for Calmness and it’s just a coincidence that Wife is in Red and Me in Blue… often the colour codes are reversed !

Wife at 3.30 am pulling my Legs frantically while I was just about to conquer Mount Everest : “Wake up ! Wake Up !”

Me murmuring :”Uhh!….!?”

Wife whispering frantically and agitatedly: “Our Front Door is slightly ajar and gently keeps banging”

Yesterday was Friday the 13th… many carry a Fear  of this Day…the phobhia is called ‘PARASKAVEDEKATRIAPHOBIA’…. that’s Greek..’ Paraskave’ denoting ‘Friday’ and ‘Dekatria’ meaning denoting ‘Thirteen’ and ‘Phobia’ standing for ‘Fear’….. Interestingly the Fear for the Number 13 is called ‘TRISKAIDEKAPHOBIA’…… somewhere back of mind this thought lingers…. I had blogged on Feb 14, 2009 too on this Fear… check it out here Darr kay baad hee Jeet hai !.. Yesterday was ‘Fear’ful Friday the 13th.. today it’s ‘Love’ly Valentine Day!

Me jumped straight out of Bed to check : “But it’s Shut”

Wife : “I just Shut it…. but it was open like this”…. she then opens the Door to demonstrate

Me : “I came in last at 10.30 pm…. and you saw me close the door… so how could it be Open ? “

Wife : “Just Check the Living Room…is everything in place?”

Me :”TV is there… Music System is there…. Medals Showcase is intact… nothing seems to have been touched”

Me (in lighter vein): “And even you’re there…. must be a Ghost !”

Wife mumbles something inaudible under her breath

Me : “Go to Sleep”…. 3.30 am may be an ideal hour to relate and share true Ghost Stories…. but…….

Wife visibly less frantic, but yet deeply concerned goes off to Bed reluctantly… but lies awake

And I return to the Living Room and keep my gaze fixed at the Door…. I had seen ‘Ghost Hunters’ on TV and one scene, similar to our Door situation, keeps flickering in my mind

Suddenly I hear a Key Opening the Door !…. Ghosts don’t need keys I thought excitedly !

And in walks my 20 (soon to be 21) year old Son after a long Friday night out with friends ! and the first thing he exclaims when he sees me standing looking at him “WHY DID YOU SHUT THE DOOR ! ?”…..”I had walked in a few minutes earlier and gone back down again to give my friend his House keys that were in my pocket and I left the door slightly ajar so I need not have used the Keys to Open again”

“Huh….. How did I know you had kept it open ?”

As the Movie ‘Three Idiots’ has made popular this exclamation “Aaall is Well”  in the End….

But One thing I keep rediscovering even after 22 years of marriage and feel rather warm and kicked about…. is that My Wife, despite all her bravado, yet needs me to be there for her !…. and don’t anyone of you daresay it’s only because there was no one else she could turn to at 3.30 am !

Cheers… and have a Great Weekend !

It’s August 9 today…what a Day !…ROAR !

Monday, August 9th, 2010

Are you aware of the significance of August 9 ?

It was on this Day in

1942…. that the Quit India Movement began…. to gain Independence

1945…. that USA dropped an Atom Bomb on Nagasaki in Japan during World War II

1974… that President of USA, Richard Nixon resigned due to the Watergate Scandal

…. and also on August 9, 1962, my Mother decided that I needed to stop kicking her from within and begin kicking others on Planet Earth !

…. I’m yet kicking… because it is widely believed that unless Times of India in their ‘Personals’ does not greet you personally on your birthday, like they did BIG Lawyer, Mahesh Jethmalani and BIG Bazaar, Kishore Biyani this morning, you are not BIG !

A ROAR from a Lion to you’ll !….. and especially a BIG ROAR to those who wished on email, sms, skype, phone and Facebook !

…….. Like a close friend observing that a Hug is like a Boomerang… you get it right back…. I asked her if she had ever tried hugging a Bear !?… she said she would leave that to me !…. and I said I’ve already done this !… you see in my line of work, my Wife is the Bear and I’m the Bull !

……. Like another wishing me Many Happy Returns of the Day… and I tell her that unless I celebrate, I observe I don’t get Happy ‘Returns’… if you know what I mean

…… and my niece said “Mamu, Happy Birthday”… and I just saw ‘Munnabhai MBBS’ yet again on TV last night and so ‘Mamu’ was fresh in my mind…. but niece’s ‘mamu’ denoted a family relationship… so that’s alright

……. and one wisely wished me hoping that ‘May the Stock markets go up and up and up …..”… you see that we often corelate Happiness with an Up and UP and Buoyant Stock Market!… believing that these two are not inversely corelated !

……. and  Incidentally, one of my cubs thinks ROAR stands for ‘ Rights Of A Retard !’…. she’s not getting her Allowance this week !

Cheers !

Don’t be obsessed by Cleanliness and Dusting !

Friday, August 6th, 2010

Ya ! Ya ! I know that ‘Cleanliness is next to Godliness !’…but thought I’d share this email received this morning from a Friend…..and after exercising some creative license to alter it a bit on my part……

It’s  not what you gather,  but what you scatter that tells what kind of life you have lived.

Remember…a  layer of dust protects the Wood beneath it.
  
A  house  becomes a home  when you can write ‘I love you’ on the Dust on the furniture  
  
Many spend  every weekend making sure  things were just perfect - ‘in case someone came over’….  Finally they will realize one day that no-one came over; they were all out living life and having fun!

NOW, when people visit, I don’t have to explain  the ‘condition’  of my home. They  are more interested in hearing about the things I’ve been doing  while I was away living life and having fun.

If you haven’t  figured this out yet, please heed this advice.
 
Life  is short. Enjoy it!  

Dust if you must ………  

But  wouldn’t it be better to paint a picture or write a letter, enjoy your favourite lunch  and lick the spoon or plant a seed

Ponder  the difference between want and need?

Dust  if you must……..

But  there’s not much time . . . . with  wine to drink, SPORTS to play, rivers to swim and mountains to climb  ,  music to hear and books to read, friends to cherish and life to lead.  
 
Dust  if you must……..

But the world’s out there with the sun in your eyes, a flutter of snow, a shower of rain. This day will not come around, again.  
  
Dust if you must……..

But bear in mind, old age will come and it is not kind. . .  
 
And when you go - and go you must - you, yourself will make more dust!

So how are you going to spend this Weekend ? Dusting ?

Have a Great Weekend…..Cheers !  

 

 

Does Riding Piggy Back make Piggeries of our Stock Exchanges !? Oink ! Oink !

Tuesday, July 27th, 2010

Piggery : A Farm or Enclosure where Pigs are Kept

…so if you ride Piggy Back on RJ,GS,JP,CLSA,CG etc,the Movers & Shakers in our Stock Markets,does that make our Stock Exchanges Piggeries ! ?….Enclosures for Thousands of Stocks that Stink ! 

Cheers to a Chuckle !….Oink ! Oink !

What a Tuesday !..some Tales of it…..

Wednesday, July 21st, 2010

Tuesday Tale No 1

Have you ever been extended an invitation on Sunday evening for a Tuesday Dinner by Close Friends?…and you land up at their Residence on Tuesday and find the Hosts had simply forgotten about their Invite ! ?

It happened to us yesterday…My Wife and I were invited by really close friends for Dinner…just the four of us at their Residence…..we were told to come by 9.30 pm…Social Etiquette meant we reach by 9.45 pm…we did with our small Gift..a Box of Chocolate Cookies …only to find the Hostess in her Night Gown and simply no trace of the Host….she was so embarrased….we could either have got mad or laugh it off……we chose to do the latter…we gave the Cookies and quickly exited !…The Hostess told us that she had told her Husband Host to remind her in the Morning for the Dinner and he had forgotten and so had she !

Normally we don’t accept weekday dinner invites as Work Days could be tiring….and as it gets late into the Night,the next day begins with yawns!…and and especially with these friends the night would have gone past 1 am…probably 2 am as Dinner too is served at Midnight! !…they had invited for the weekend but as this was not possible we confirmed for Tuesday night….we had accepted as we had not met them for quite a while and  either they or us  were travelling or had other commitments and they were insisting that we meet and we are close friends!  

…Their Forgetting turned out to be a blessing in two ways……..The First was that we completed in the morning itself our Tuesday Religious Ritual of visiting the SiddhiVinayak Temple and St Anthony and Infant Jesus Shrine…in recent past our tight day schedule has meant doing this routine tired and sleepy past 11 pm in the night

……The second is that we yet had to have Dinner,so we rushed to catch the last order at 10.30 pm for Dinner at the Club and it turned out to be heavenly…and as usual great value for Money…I’ve been telling Wife to shut our Kitchen and just eat at the Club!…Rs 26 for the Soup of the Day…a wholesome Spinach and Corn Thick Soup served with hot crosissants with Butter chiplets on the side…Rs 57 for half portion of one of the Main Choices for the day and that can be shared easily by two….A Tasty Subz Hyderabadi that was Paneer,peas,corn,beans and carrots etc in a Green Gravy served with Rice (you could opt for Naan instead),Pickles,Salad and Roasted Papad…Wife preferred a Continental Choice for Rs 135 that she swooned over…Herbed Rice with a Fabulous Stew cooked in a rich brown non spicy gravy with Fresh Thyme and other herbs served with Boiled Vegetables as an accompaniment….washed down by her with a Coke with Ice,rather Ice with Coke (as she fills up the Glass with over Ten Ice Cubes and then pours the Coke !) for Rs 20 and by me with a Draught Beer for Rs 35….there were just a few tables occupied in the Dining Room on a Tuesday Night…so the service was very attentive….we skipped Dessert of the Day…a Blueberry Cheesecake or Fresh Orange IceCream…both below Rs 50….wonder how the Club,with all it’s Overheads, can afford such lovely low Pricing !…Good for us ! 

…….and we got home by 11.30 pm !….before midnight !….so had a Good Nights’ Sleep

Tuesday Tale No 2

India’s ‘Aam Aadmi’ is truly Honest..Diwakar Patel,a middle aged portly and bespectacled Bus Conductor on a Short Circular Route 155 from Grant Road Station through Tardeo,Haji Ali,Mahalakshmi,Peddar Road,Kemps Corner,Gowalia Tank and Nana Chowk…… I got a confirmed sense of this ‘Honesty’ yesterday….It has to be a Coincidence that my Quote for the Day in Office for July 20 from the Daily Calender read ” You Must not lose faith in Humanity.Humanity is an Ocean;if a few drops of the Ocean are Dirty,the Ocean does not become Dirty.”

Wife had the Car and I had to rush for the above dinner…was in office at Tardeo till late past 8.30 pm and had to get home first at Peddar Road…Taxis often refuse to ply short distances…saw a Bus No 155…hopped into it to alight just a few minutes and stops away…saw this Bus Conductor counting a Big Bundle of Small Denomination Notes of Rs 10,Rs 20 and Rs 50….asked him if he could give me change for Rs 100 or Rs 200…said he can for Rs 900 !…so I gave him Nine Notes of Rs 100 notes for the Change…From what he gave me I reflexively offered him Rs 10 for this favour…..He outright and quite firmly refused and in one motion rubbed his hand over his forehead,indicating his ‘Naseeb’ and Destiny and Fate is written on his forehead while proudly asserting that in his 17 years of service with BEST he has lived honestly and with dignity and with a loyal sense of duty and would not take any money that was not his by right !…What a Guy !

Reminded me of a Bus Conductor and Saint story ” I nearly sold my Conscience for Rs 1!” that was send out by email by my father- in- law a week ago…he sends out daily such messages to over 500 people and has also got a  Small White Board put up in the Building where he religiously and daily pens an inspiring Thought for all….The Story goes like this….A Saintly Person’s reputation precedes him when he shifts towns…he gets into a Bus and the Conductor gives him Rs 1 more than Due back in Change….He deliberates whether to return this Rs 1 to the Conductor…he finally does this on alighting from the Bus….it is then that the Bus Conductor tells him that he had deliberately given an additional  Rs 1 back in Change as he was aware of the Saintly reputation of his and was simply testing it !…Wow !      

Tuesday Tale No 3

This is about my daughter,who’ll turn 15 later this year…she’s an India Probable…the only girl from Maharashtra…. and away at a 40 day ongoing Football Camp to select the Women u 16 Football Team for India…..we speak to her everyday….but she had called us yesterday morning to tell us that a girl from another State in another room had started screaming inexplicably and uncontrollably on Monday late night and had to be physically constrained and hospitalised…my daughter wanted to know how this could have happened…she said that there were rumours that she was possessed!….I told her it could have been an epileptic fit…was important to know the girl’s past medical history……told her not to be unduly disturbed……then she called again late in the evening to tell us that this Girl has returned from the Hospital and has been send to their Room !…my daughter shares her room with three other girls from three different states…now with this fifth girl too they all were a bit scared…naturally !….this morning she called at 7 am!…asked her why she was not at the morning 6 am to 7.30 am Practice…seems none of the four girls slept last night ! and the kindly Coach sensed this and send them back to rest this morning !…Phew!…told her to pen her experiences,funny or scary, at the Camp for later submit it for the Prestigious Annual School Magazine…told her to have a sunny and positive outlook and attitude on all experiences…it will help her in her game too…..firm up her mental toughness too and negate negative influence of  mindgames and make her a better and kinder and more tolerant Human Being….Competition is tough among 40 Girls from over 15 States vying for a place in a 22 Member India Team…told her to keep working hard and not to find success and that it would assuredly find her

Tuesday Tale No 4

…and for those who vist my blog just for Stock Ideas….IFCI has crossed Rs 60 and GATI has surged past Rs 75 today from levels of Rs 58 just a few weeks ago….we have exposure in both and my targets are yet some way ahead 

I just Love Tuesdays !….just like I love all Other Days of the Week too!  

Cheers !

Don’t Care who wins the FIFA 2010 World Cup Finals tonight as long as it’s Spain ! Viva Espana !

Sunday, July 11th, 2010

Don’t care who wins the FIFA 2010 World Cup Finals tonight as long as it’s SPAIN !

Come on David Villa,get the Golden Boot !

Viva Espana !

Refreshing Memories…remembering this Spanish Classic

Remember this…Sing it out Loud tonight as the Spanish Armada sink the Dutch Defence!

Y VIVA ESPAÑA
(Eddie Seago / Leo Caerts)
Sylvia Vrethammar - 1974/1975All the ladies fell for Rudolph Valentino
He had a beano back in those balmy days
He knew every  time you meet an icy creature
You’ve got to teach her hot blooded latin ways
But even Rudy would have felt the strain
Of making smooth advances in the rain
Chorus

Oh this year i’m off to Sunny Spain Y Viva Espana
I’m taking the Costa Brava ‘plane Y Viva Espana
If you’d like to chat a matador, in some cool cabana
And meet senoritas by the score, Espana por favor

Quite by chance to hot romance I found the answer
Flamenco dancers are by far the finest bet
There was one who whispered oh hasta la vista
Each time I kissed him behind the castanette
He rattled his maracas close to me
In no time I was trembling at the knee

When they first arrive the girls are pink and pasty
but oh so tasty as soon as they go brown
I guess they know ev’ry fellow will be queuing
to do the wooing his girlfriend won’t allow
but every dog must have his lucky day
that’s why i’ve learnt the way to shout ole

 

I owned two pairs of black Castenets got back from Spain way back in 1972 by my parents….Just imagine a ten year old trying to imitate the Passionate Senoritas,in their rich red or black gowns,clicking in great rhythm and beat a pair of castenets in each hand..just like Fred Astair’s tap dancing….while they performed their swirling,aggressive ,yet sensous dance….simply could not do so ! 

The World’s going to be painted in Red and Yellow tonight ! 

Olé!

Paul the Oracle Octopus has now predicted a German win to clinch 3rd Spot at FIFA World Cup 2010 and a Spanish win to be crowned World Champions !…wondering how the Octopus chooses…flag shape or colours !?

Friday, July 9th, 2010

Paul,the German Oracle Octopus has called winning teams correctly not once,not twice…but six consecutive times at the concluding FIFA World Cup 2010 in South Africa…clearly Psychic

This eight legged (obviously!…it’s an Octo-pus !) sea creature has now made it’s seventh and eighth prediction….that Germany will beat Uruguay in the playoff for 3rd Place and Spain will triumph against the Netherlands to be crowned the World Champions

I was wondering how does Paul do this !…was sure it’s to do with preference for certain colours…as Paul chooses to eat a mussel from one of two Glass containers each draped on top by a Flag of the Country playing that particular match…so the winner predicted is that country whose flag was draped on the Glass container chosen to pick  the mussel to eat from

…..curiousity was addressed by this writeup on the net today…i love the way it begins…”What has eight legs but no backbone? No, not the England team’s lily-levered defence “

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/worldnews/article-1293271/Paul-Psychic-Octopus-World-Cup-2010-oracle-picks-Spain.html?ito=feeds-newsxml

it seems it’s to do with Shapes…not colours….and moreover the colour red disappears underwater……Octopus love horizontal shapes and can distinguish hues and brightness….Both German and Spain Flags have huge horizontal Bands…but Spain has a big distinguishing Yellow Band….hope this is the scientific and logical and rational explanation….however it does not explain why that country wins !…six times consecutively correct !…believe me if Paul is correct the seventh and the eight time,he will have started a Cult belief for all Octopus….that they can predict your future too!…..so now along with Parrots picking your fortune,you’ll have Octopus’ tentacles also doing so !

…..wonder what my wife thinks of all this…..she’s completely hooked on fortune tellers and soothsayers…high probability that a parrot had predicted me as her husband !….wish the parrot had been wrong!…just kidding!…..now I got to fear the Octopus….anybody knows where in Mumbai can one get to consult an Octopus ?…my wife wants to know…or no dinner for me tonight !     

Cheers !

Trivia….Connections…Tina Turner & Pierce Brosnan…Vapi & Wimbledon…Singapore & Sanskrit

Wednesday, July 7th, 2010

I Love Connecting…even if it appears as Trivia….over the Years it’s become an inherent and instant reflexive action when I read about or see a Person,Thing or Place

Like….. what’s the Connection between the Crooner and even Actor,Tina Turner…she’ll turn 71 in November this year ( Oh ! I loved her ‘Private Dancer’ and ‘What’s Love got to do with it’) and Pierce Brosnan,the still handsome…he’s 57 years old and he’s trying to protect Whales from being killed… and suave Irish Actor who carved a niche in Hollywood (’The Thomas Crown Affair’,'Dante’s Peak’,'The Tailor of Panama’,'After the Sunset’ with Salma Hayek.’Mamma Mia’ with Meryl Streep and Four ‘Bond’ Movies) ?….the Bond Movie ‘Goldeneye’……Pierce Brosnan,was the ideal actor to play ‘James Bond’ but was bound in the 1980s by contract to play the lead ‘Remington Steele’ with costar Cybill Shepherd in a popular TV Detective Serial ‘Moonlighting’…I was addicted to this serial…remember being glued to the TV in the Middle East while I was working for one of the Big Four Audit Firms there….. When Brosnan was released from this contract,he was finally signed up for the role of  ‘James Bond’…..’Goldeneye ‘was one of Brosnan’s Four ‘Bond’ films….Saw it a few days ago on a Film Channel….Tina Turner has sung the title song ‘Goldeneye’ for this Pierce Brosnan ‘Bond’ Film

Like….. what’s the Connection between Vapi,the town in Gujarat State in West India and the All England Club Wimbledon Tennis Championship ?….Championship Towels….The All England Club has licensed out the manufacture of Championship Towels to Christy….The Welspun Group of India ( Pipes & Terry Towels) recently bought out Christy…..they shifted the manufacture of the Championship Towels to the Welspun India Plant at Vapi…I’ve been to this Plant,retained by AIMA to train Welspun Employees in Security Analysis & Portfolio Management to prepare them for Professional Examination

Like….what’s the Connection between Singapore & Sanskrit,an ages old Indian language ?….the name Singapore is a combination of two Sanskrit words…’Singa’ meaning Lion and ‘Pura’ meaning City…so how did this name come about ?….Singapore in ancient times was known as ‘Temasek’…it’s a Javanese word for Sea…It was a busy Trading centre,just as it is today….In fact Temasek is the name of one of the Singapore Govt’s Investment arm that has heavily invested in Indian Companies…..Temasek was destroyed at the end of the 4th Century…It is said by the ‘Malay Annals’ that it was rediscovered in the 11th century by Sang Nila Utama, a Prince of the Sri Vijaya Empire…when he landed on it’s shores he saw a strange beast,which he later learnt was a Lion…he named the Land ‘Singapura’….Modern Day Singapore…the Country’s Symbol ‘Merlion’ is a Lion head and a Fish Body

Keep Connecting…it’s good Fun…enriches our knowledge of the World around us….of People,Places and Things….Cheers !  

Please visit WP-Admin > Options > Snap Shots and enter the Snap Shots key. How to find your key